In a 2008 study, psychologists asked participants to rate the steepness of a hill. Those accompanied by a good friend judged the hill to be less steep than people who were alone. This experiment reveals one of many ways friendships can change how we perceive and navigate the world. Friendships can enhance academic performance, help us cope with setbacks, and even improve our health. The relationships we form during childhood and teenage years significantly influence our beliefs, values, and emotional growth.
Friendships are undeniably important, yet making and maintaining friends can be challenging. If you find it difficult to approach new people, you're not alone. In a series of studies, participants engaged in conversations of varying lengths with strangers and were later asked to estimate how much each stranger liked them. Consistently, participants rated their own likability lower than how others had actually rated them. This phenomenon, known as the "liking gap," highlights our tendency to underestimate how much others enjoy our company. To counter this, it may help to remind yourself that others probably like you more than you think before meeting new people. Psychologists have also identified the "acceptance prophecy," where people who expect to be well-liked often come across as warmer and friendlier without realizing it.
The more new people you meet, the more confident you may feel. In one study, individuals who spoke to just one new person each day for a week reported feeling less afraid of rejection, more secure in their conversational skills, and more eager to meet new people overall.
But how do relationships evolve from casual acquaintances to close friends? Psychologists point to two key features of deeper friendships: companionship and closeness. Companionship arises from shared hobbies, interests, or values, with even being in the same class or team sometimes enough to create a bond. This connection can boost self-esteem and improve resilience to stress. Closeness, however, varies across relationships and can include emotional support during difficult times or comfort in sharing personal thoughts and feelings. Not every friendship needs to become deeply personal, especially early on. Simply sharing your day or discussing mutual interests can foster closeness over time.
Consistency plays a significant role in maintaining friendships. This involves keeping plans, communicating regularly, and remembering important details about each other's lives. Even long-distance friendships can thrive through consistent messaging and calls, as long as trust and intimacy remain present.
However, even the closest friendships can face challenges, particularly during teenage years when people often experience new types of conflicts. Situations like competing for the same college spot, breaches of confidence, or lack of support during difficult times can strain relationships. For instance, one friend may feel unable to support another through personal hardships like breakups or illnesses. Addressing these challenges openly is often the best approach. Though difficult, conversations about rifts can strengthen relationships when handled with care. Approaching these talks without judgment, avoiding defensiveness, and focusing on personal feelings rather than accusations can be highly effective.
While some friendships naturally drift apart and others evolve, all friendships benefit from healthy habits. Whether you're connecting with new buddies or maintaining lifelong bonds, it's never too late to nurture meaningful connections.